Newspage Three

The Cafuelarena and the carona virus


All people employed  by the Cafuelarena are on half pay.  As yet we have not taken a penny from the government, or perhaps more to the point, from the British tax payer.  We have considerable business interests in France, and we have not taken any money from France either.  We can struggle along for a few months.  We are the richest fashion cult in Europe, possibly one of the richest in the world.   Our accountancy team seem to be quite smarrt and it llooks like there is a way for us to manage on a hibernation budget, or a semi hibernation budget.  



Cafuelarena advantages, during the covid virus


The new Preisident of the Cafuelarena is known for two characteristics.  Being quite highly likeable, the not the hit between the eyeballs, and melt your heart charisma of former Presidentt Honor Hammond.  And, being cool calm and collected.  Just what we need during these times.  It seems Louise taking office in December, arrived just in good time.  


The Cafuelarena attracts extroverts, who like wearing the fashion to get some attention.  Or introverts, who like being introvert much of the time, but then have moments when they want to explode and get some attention, in stark contrastt to how they normally are.  The introverts are like psychological camels.  They can go for ages without drinking water, then come to an oasis and have to guzzle it down.  Consequently, at least five per cent of Cafuelarena, before they joined us, were a b heavily into fancy dress.  Most still are among the first up for any fancy dress party.  Fancy dress can take a bit of skill, and improvisation.  So lots of us have turned out to be good at making face masks.  We now have officially made face masks,

strictly navy blue.    


The Cafuelarena are expert and well practiced boat cleaners, so that has been something of a transfarable skill for us.  Becuase o fthe black shirt rulings, as we are a fashion based cult, with some involvement in polotics,  no Cafuelarena can be seen in uniform at any footballl match nor with any football supporters.  We have to keep a certain distance from religion, and members of the armed services.  So we are already quite skilled at certain kinds of distancing.  However, by far the greatest strength and advantage for us has been the cell sixteen system.

Every Cafuelarena is in a cell sixteen.  A group of around eight lads and eight girls, with a group captain, and a senior vice, and a junior vice, and a welfare officer.  We cannot tell you how increible the cell sixteen system has proved to be during the coronavirus.   This has been even more important for our over thirty fives, in the Cafiari (kaf-ee-ah-rye), who wear powder blue berets and coats, and powder blue from head to toe.


The founding of the Sea Masons, and the number seven


01    On the seventh minute

02    Past the seventh hour

03    On the 7th

04    Of the 7th

05    77

06    By the River Severn

07    77 British men assembled


And the secret society The Sea Masons, was born.


You have to have an occupation relating to the sea, for not less than seven years, in order to join.  After two years in a sea based occupation, you can borrow five years from the future, if you provide reasonable evidence, and pledge to pay a large fine if you default.  It doesn’t have to be a paid occupation, so volunteer lifeboat men can join.  You don’t actually have to work at sea.  A man working in a seafront pub, faithfully serving many sailors, is allowed to join.  


The Cafuelarena with their love of the sea,, are said to have good relations with the Sea Masons.


Cafuelarena boats, plus President wants to cut arguments with science

                                                                                See newspage four  > > >  

The Mermaids of Cornwall, aquatic alien revelation,


by Simon Kemnew


Available now on Amazon Kindle

cropped mermaids